Revillaging Is Cultivating A Community

Today I was alone at the park with my son thinking- Where is my mom? Grandparents? Aunts? Uncles? Friends? Community? Tribe? Village? Anyone? Help?

Do you ever feel this way in this modern culture of separation and isolation?

I hear many women and mamas expressing this angst and longing for connection and mama friends.  Isolated nuclear families is a brand new phenomenon.  Hunters and gatherers, not that long ago, lived in tribes, villages and community.

Let’s cultivate community!

I often feel the false and fragmented connections on social media have disconnected and isolated humans. I personally feel the repercussions of this disconnect in today’s modern culture. I’m a stay at home mother whose with my son 24/7 and crave like-minded mamas to connect with, spend quality time with, have eye contact, hugs, touch, and hear the sound of their voice.  All the things iPhone connections can’t give me.  In person connections keep me healthy- more than sleep, more than water, more than exercise. We are social creatures and loneliness breaks down the immune system just like stress does.  Some mother’s have expressed to me a village could be Life or Death for them.

This is where the importance of revillaging comes in. Revillaging is re-creating a village, a community, and in person social connections. It’s similar to the idea of rewilding where you reconnect with nature. It’s getting back to living in a more meaningful connected way with others. Helping each other out, knowing our neighbors, sharing, and giving. I want this so badly. A tribe. A village. Sisterhood and friends.

I feel this longing in my bones and it’s time to do something about it.  We must put it in the work it takes to build a tribe and re-create a village. It’s important and valid to feel all the feelings about this but have you ever heard the saying, “When You Pray, Move Your Feet?’ It’s time to move our feet. This means getting out of our comfort zone and actually talking to people.

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “It takes a village to raise children.” I feel that so much and believe we must do the work it takes to manifest the community we deeply crave. So I put together some ideas to get us started.

  • If you know a woman who just birthed a baby, please cook her a meal, clean her house, do her laundry.
  • If you’re a mom, carry extra food around to share with other moms at the playground, etc.
  • Start a conversation with a stranger and ask questions, see if there’s a genuine connection. Exchange numbers and call, not text.
  • Invite your neighbor over for tea, suggest to host a neighborhood potluck.
  • Stay at home mamas, make a flyer and post at parks to start a local mama group. Call it revillaging.

Here are some tips on how to connect at a deeper level with people-

Be present, hold space, validate, ask questions, listen, reflect back so they know they’ve been seen and heard.

Revillaging is vital for our physical, mental, and spiritual health. Yay! Go revillagers.

Comment below and share if you can expand on some ideas for building community.

Your Friend,